Just a short blog post to announce that after lots of thinking, praying, contemplation and consideration, I am now officially an Avon representative. I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to order anything, but if you are interested either ask me for a catalog or visit my Avon site at http://youravon.com/alleaingram.
For so long it seemed I was down just about every day. Now it seems to be every other day. One day I’ll feel fabulous, the next I feel like crap again. I suppose I should be thankful for the improvement, and I am thankful, but it gets really frustrating on the days I don’t feel so great. There’s nothing different between yesterday and today except for the way I feel. Nothing bad has happened. I actually got 8 hours of sleep last night. I haven’t had a whole lot to do today. I get to hang out with friends tonight. Really I should be in a pretty good mood today.
I guess that’s one of the mysteries of depression. There often isn’t a rhyme or reason to it. It just happens sometimes. Thank God for little steps in the right direction. Three months ago, I didn’t think I’d ever see an end to this, and now I feel like I’m really close to overcoming it completely.
Actually, after writing all that, I’m in a much better mood. Just needed a little perspective, I suppose.
That’s me, apparently.
Life’s been a little less crazy lately. Thomas and I are taking a break from a lot of our extra-curricular activities for the summer to just relax, and so far it’s working nicely. Right now, I’m contemplating a bit of a career change…or more like a career addition. I love teaching piano, but I’m thinking I want to do something else as well. I’m thinking about taking some cooking classes (since cooking is my new love) and seeing where that takes me. I might look at condensing my lessons schedule and getting a part-time job for a little variety, too. At this point, these are all just thoughts I’m having. I’ll write more if I make any definite decisions.
And I’ll try to update more. I know…you’ll believe it when you see it.
It’s been an interesting couple of weeks around the Ingram household. Thomas and I have both been SO sick. Thomas was sick all of last week. I started getting sick at the end of last week while Thomas was starting to feel better. I got really sick over the weekend (ear infection AND sinus infection), but Thomas was feeling pretty good until Wednesday when he came home coughing up a storm. We sent him to the doctor on Thursday morning to find out that he had bronchitis. So now we’re both home sick pumping antibiotics into our systems and praying that the bacteria will leave us alone.
On the up side, I think I’m finally starting to catch up on all that sleep I lost in college.
Several people I know have decided to give up TV lately. Each time I hear someone mention it, I am convicted of the fact that I spend, or rather waste, way too much time sitting in front of the TV and not enough time attending to my responsibilities, bettering myself, and, most importantly, talking to God. I don’t think I’m going to quit watching TV altogether, but I am going to seriously limit what I watch. I will allow myself to watch the show or two I actually care about and movies with my husband, but then the TV goes off and I will do something more productive. There are so many books I want to read but never “have the time” for. There are so many things that need to be done around our house that never get done because they obviously aren’t a priority to me. There are so many more important things in the world than television. How does it have such a power over me? Why in the world would I rather spend time with an inanimate object than with my Lord? It kind of hurts when I think about it. I think it’s time for a change.
As Thomas and I watched the ball drop on New Year’s Eve and the calendar flipped from 2007 to 2008, I couldn’t help but cry. 2007 was one of the hardest years of my life, and I’m so glad to see it go. I lost one grandfather, nearly lost another, and had so much stress from other family situations and life in general. The one bright point in my year was my wedding. I love my husband and I love being married to him. To a certain extent, Thomas is the one who has helped keep me sane for the past year.
I’ve been terribly withdrawn for the past few months, primarily because when I’m upset about something…in this case, my grandfather’s sickness…I don’t much feel like being around people. I have a hard time living life and being sociable when I feel like everything is going wrong. It feels fake. I think I’m back now though. My grandfather has been moved to a rehab facility and is working on being able to do things for himself again. I expect him to be going home within the month.
I have lots of plans for 2008, but I don’t like posting “New Year’s Resolutions” and stuff like that. I’d rather just make some changes and see if people notice. I do like how a new year makes you feel like you can make a clean start. Really that’s why I cried at the new year. I felt like all the bad was over. Now I can put it behind me and move forward. It’s such an unbelievable relief.
Happy New Year, everyone!
It’s been awhile since I updated about my paw paw, and a lot of amazing stuff has happened since I last wrote.
After he had been on the respirator for a few days, they went ahead and did a tracheotomy so he wouldn’t have to have a tube hanging out of his mouth and would be more comfortable. That way they wouldn’t have to keep him sedated.
So he had been on the trach tube for a few weeks, I believe. Thomas and I went to visit him last Friday and he was awake, in good spirits, and trying his best to talk, even though the trach tube prevents any air from reaching his vocal chords. He still made a valiant effort and we were able to somewhat read his lips. He looked so much better than the last time I saw him, and I left feeling very hopeful.
Over the weekend, the pulmonologist started gradually weaning him off the respirator and having him breathe on his own for awhile. He did very well and has not been on the respirator for several days now. He was even able to, with much help, I’m sure, get out of bed and sit in a chair in his room for awhile.
Then today came the biggest thing. They put something on his trach tube that actually allows him to speak…so today I actually spoke to my grandfather on the phone. I nearly burst into tears at the sound of it. Two weeks ago we thought there wasn’t much hope left, and today I spoke to my grandfather on the phone. I am so amazed at all of this. I feel like God is working miracles here and healing my grandfather who, only two weeks ago, wasn’t given much of a chance.
Thank you all for you prayers, and please keep them up. We’re hoping he will be home by Christmas.
My grandfather has been making slow, but steady progress over the past few days, and I seem to be making my way out of this depression weirdness. I think I’m going to have a good weekend…
I’m kind of surprised at how down I’ve been for the past week. It’s not like me to be depressed or even to worry that much, but that’s exactly what I’ve been doing since the weekend. It’s kind of sad, really, and I’m rather ashamed of myself because I know better than to behave in this way. I feel like a silly kid whining for attention. I guess I just want someone to ask how I’m doing…or ask how my grandpa is doing…or just tell me they’re praying for him. That’s all.
But then it occurs to me that not many people really knew he was having surgery until after the fact, and I haven’t tried to call anyone and tell them what’s going on.
I just want to snap out of this funk soon. I hate feeling this way.
Sidenote: To those of you who have expressed concern, I really appreciate it and it means a lot. I’m not trying to get attention or sympathy here, just trying to get everything out…get over myself, ya know?
Tuesday was Thomas’ birthday. I took him to The Melting Pot per his request for a delicious dinner. We emerged nearly three hours later stuffed and happy.
Wednesday my grandfather went in for open heart surgery to have a valve replaced. The surgery was a success and he’s been doing well, but he still has a long way to go to full recovery. Please keep him in your prayers. Thomas and I are leaving in the morning to drive to Charlotte and visit him for the weekend.
Thursday I made a hilarious JibJab video that I’m dying to post. I need to wait until I get the stars’ permission though.
Today I got a lot of stuff done. Laundry, dishes, sorting a laundry basket full of old papers, photographing dishcloths (yes, I realize this sounds incredibly strange). Still need to fold some laundry and pack some clothes for our trip to Charlotte.
I’ve had lots of ideas for posts this week, but just haven’t had the time to sit down and write them. I really want to be a good little blogger though. Encouragement, anybody?
